WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM OUR DOGS


  • When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

  • Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

  • Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

  • When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.

  • Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

  • Take naps and stretch before rising.

  • Run, romp, and play daily.

  • Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

  • Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

  • On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

  • On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.

  • When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

  • No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.

  • Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

  • Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

  • Be loyal.

  • Never pretend to be something you're not.

  • If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

  • When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

'IF'

If you can start the day without caffeine, if you can get along without pep pills, if you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains, and can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, if you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, if you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, if you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him/her, if you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit, if you can conquer tension without medical help, if you can relax without liquor, if you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,

Then, my friend, you are ALMOST as good as your dog.



HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO
CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

  • Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

  • Rottweiler: Make me!

  • Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

  • Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

  • Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

  • Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.

  • Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

  • Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

  • Mastiff: Do it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark...

  • Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.

  • Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

  • Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

  • Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?

  • Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

  • Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs... people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?

  • Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

  • Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

  • Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

  • Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...


A FULL SERVICE VET

A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming.

As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest.

So, I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my talkative client had grown silent.

As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized, too."

-Unattributed